Tinder did some “research” and discovered that people over 29 were willing to pay more for the same service, which says a lot about how dating apps see age. While ageism is real and people do rule out dates based on age, this move also suggests that older users may simply have more to lose and more to pay for. The problem is that the extra opportunities may not be there. It’s a neat business move dressed up as insight. And it tells older users exactly how the app values them.

Plenty of Fish and OkCupid research has suggested that women ages 21-25 are seen as the most desirable online dates, while women over 30 can receive far fewer messages and matches. So what are female daters over 30 really getting from the new Tinder Plus service? Not much. The dating market is already filtering them out, which makes the premium upgrade feel less like a solution and more like a reminder. The numbers may change, but the bias stays the same.

I am not going to make the case that men should date women in their thirties or forties just because they are accomplished, independent, and full of life experience. I don’t think anyone can be argued into attraction. People have to figure out for themselves why they keep choosing younger partners, and that is true for women too. This is not only ageist, it is sexist as well. Attraction has a way of hiding behind excuses. But the excuses often say more than the people making them realize.

Age discrimination in dating has less to do with biology than with insecurity, social pressure, and what friends or family might think. If you are only dating people much younger than yourself, you may be trying to prove something, either to others or to yourself. We should keep our minds, and our online filters, open, because the best match is often the one we least expect. A good conversation can matter more than a perfect profile photo. And chemistry does not always follow the rules